30.

I’m 30! I'm 30! And I don't care who knows it!

I feel as though I’ve been waiting for this moment for an entire decade. I know I sound crazy. But it’s true. 

Because when you marry at 23 and have your first baby at 27, it’s hard not to feel like a bit of an outsider. Carrie Bradshaw once told me to enjoy myself…because that’s what your 20s are for. Your 30s are to learn the lessons. Your 40s are to pay for the drinks. And I absolutely did enjoy myself in my 20s. But instead of galavanting the big city every night in Jimmy Choos, I happily crawled into bed every night by 10pm in Target pjs. I like to have fun, but I’m way more like Monica Geller and enjoy myself in an organized, comfortable and clean fashion. 

It’s like I’ve been living in limbo, just waiting for my age to catch up with my lifestyle so I somehow fit in. And now I’m here and it’s even better than I imagined. 

About two months ago, I felt something inside me shift.

It was as if I woke up one day, told my insecurities and self-doubt to get out of the driver’s seat so I can actually start driving this car myself. It feels really good to finally feel the pedal beneath my toes and the warm leather within my grip. I can’t say if it was a conscious decision or a chemical one, but it has been the best decision my body and mind ever made. 

I’ve never felt so grounded, so clear-minded, so confident in who I am and the direction I want my life to go. For the last 29 years, I could never make a true decision. Every decision went like this:

Turn left. No wait, go right. Because if I go left then this person might be offended. But now that I’m going right, I might actually have to face a fear so let’s just turn around and maybe stay home today. 

Well, now I’m 30 and eager to learn some lessons and face some fears. I’m ready to throw away my insecurities and start really having fun.

So all this to say, if you are 25 and you are thinking…

Oh my gahhhh! Only 5 more years till 30?!

Trust me. I’m two weeks in and it’s already better over here.

 

Oh and also my husband threw together the most perfect family getaway in Palm Springs. I'm already planning to go back like six more times this year...